Over the weekend I have had to make a very difficult decision that will/has had a very upsetting impact on someone I care about.

Part of being Bipolar means there are phases when I must have periods of time on my own where I don’t have to think or worry about hurting another person because of this. Bipolar has a very destructive side to relationships; including, partners. spouses family, friends, colleagues etc.  It’s just as difficult and painful for the person who is not Bipolar to deal with, but unfortunately a mood changing condition is very difficult for the sufferer to control.

Although I have been very positive about my future career plans and my enjoyment of working with animals, I have been battling with another side to this condition. I have found it very hard to adjusting to new relationships and this has, in turn, resulted in a period of low mood, which was also affected by a period of poor health that began over Christmas. On two occasions I have misused my sleeping tablets (zopilcone) on purpose and taken them during the day to sedate myself – this is not good at all.

I feel guilty and dreadful for what I have had to do and I am more upset for this person than I am for how this decision will affect me. I just wish I didn’t have to do it, but I just couldn’t cope anymore.  Though my medication keeps me stable I am still not in control enough to deal with other triggers of mood swings and it’s been a big enough battle to find the right medication and adjust to that let alone throw other issues into the mix that effect mood swings. I am still in a fragile state of the recovery period.

Mental health is destructive at times.

Posted in Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Health, Mania, Manic Depression, Mental Health Stigma, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder
Tags: Bipolar, Bipolar & Relationships, Bipolar Disorder, depression, Health, life, Low Mood, MDF, Mood Swings, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, relationships

Well, it has been a very long time since I have blogged. So much has happened. As of the 29th December 2011 I am no longer employed at the University. I have decided on a complete career change and to follow my dream of working with animals. That is no surprise considering some of my past blogs have been animal related.

I was recommended an Occupational Therapist by the Mental Health Recovery Team, to help and guide me as to what to do next. I have to take things very carefully because I am still in a period of recovery after the severity of my Bipolar Episode that reached critical levels in September 2010. I was advised to do a little bit of voluntary work, to help build confidence with getting out and about again. My Cognitive Behaviour Therapist recommended, due to my love for animals and their welfare, to attend an open day at the Exotic Pet Refuge, which is not too far from me. I felt so moved my some of the stories of these animals, especially a Capuchin called, Benny, that I decided I would like to help. On the second open day I went to I offered to volunteer once a week, I started a week later and I loved it. Being outdoors, knowing that I was helping these animals live out the rest of their days at the refuge in peace. A few weeks later, I went with my Mum to the Love Pets Show in Peterborough, where I got chatting to a woman from Lincoln College about animal care courses. I told her my age and situation and she said “never let that be a barrier for changing your career and retraining” so from that I enquired about animal courses. I am hoping to start an Animal qualification in September 2012 at Brooksby Melton College, so that I can work with animals and hopefully make a difference. I think that is definitely my purpose in life.

In other news, In July I started dating a man, he’s a bit older than me but we get on really well and he is just as weird as me. That has been going well. I celebrated Gracie’s first birthday in November by having a little party for her, yes, she is a cat, but I adore her and she deserves to be spoilt because she is my best friend forever cat. She helped me so much, gave me purpose when I couldn’t get out of bed and I was in total despair. She was there through all the physical side effects of the medication changes and me having to stay in bed because I was physically sick. I will always give Gracie the best and the happiest life. In some sad news Oscar was diagnosed as epileptic a few months ago, watching the severity of the fits was traumatic. Charlie was epileptic all his life, but his fits were quite calm, though still distressing for us to witness. Oscar is now on medication, so hopefully that should help him.

I have been to see a Neurologist about the severe pain I had been experiencing in my left ear, down the side of my face, neck and behind my eye and have now been diagnosed with Neuralgia, so I am on yet more medication to help me with this problem. Luckily, it was nothing serious causing the pain, but it’s a pain I will just have to live with, just like being Bipolar.

I never thought I would be here a year on, this time last year I was bedridden, abusing sleeping pills to sedate myself during the day. Storing a separate supply of medication to take my own life, luckily my community psychiatric nurse advised my mum regarding my state of mind and she took control over my medication. I felt ill from all the side effects of trying to find the right medication to treat rapid cycling bipolar and a year on, we seem to have found a suitable drug that agrees with me and doesn’t have such bad side effects as lithium and seroquel. Though I do tire very easily.

I can’t believe my life is finally on track, I know my purpose and what I was put on this earth to do. For people who read this who are at the stage I was at earlier this year, you CAN get through this. It takes time, it’s hard, you want to give up but one day things will change. I’m not saying I don’t have ups and downs. I always will, triggers will cause episodes but I have been given the tools to help me through bipolar episodes. I also never realised just how important family are. You need family and friends, they can give you space when you need it but are there for you, even if to just sit and watch a dvd or mindless television. It’s not easy for them either but everyone can get through episodes and everyone takes different amounts of time. 18 months on, I am still in recovery, but I am so careful not to let things tip me over the edge and I am doing this at my own pace, nobody else’s – just mine, until I feel I am ready.

I wish everyone a very Happy New Year for 2012.

Posted in Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Dogs, Health, Mania, Manic Depression, Mental Health Stigma, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder
Tags: animals, Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, depression, Dogs, Exotic Pet Refuge, Health, life, Lithium, Love, Low Mood, Mania, MDF, Mind, Orangutans, Protecting Animals, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, Seroquel, Suicide, Twycross Zoo, zoo, zopiclone

It’s been a while since I blogged, but I felt that this particular topic was one close to my heart. People who know me and the people who read this blog will know that before, over and after Christmas, I was experiencing severe depression. In January I just didn’t know what I wanted to do anymore to stop myself from ending it, I couldn’t see a way of escaping the blackness I was experiencing and wanted a way out.

I don’t know why or how it came into my mind but I began to wonder if finally getting my own pet, which I paid for, looked after, paid vets bills etc. would help me out of this despair. I love animals, as most people know. I probably even prefer animals to most humans, they, generally, don’t let you down. I’d never really thought of owning a cat, as I’ve grown up with dogs from when I was a baby and I love dogs. I’d always wanted my own small dog. However, I did my research on cats and decided I would like an indoor cat. I initially looked at exotic shorthair as a possibility as a friend has a lovely one and I got some advice from her. I then looked at Persians and I liked the fact that they need daily care, as in grooming due to their long coat.

This research helped distract me from how helpless I felt. I contacted a very nice lady from Suffolk who had a litter of kittens ready in the middle of march, she was very helpful and also vetted me to make sure I would be a good and responsible owner. She was a small hobby breeder and only had 4 cats. I sold my furniture which has been costing me a fortune in storage and used the money to keep for getting my own kitten. My mum and I went down at the end of January to go and visit the kittens, it just so happened that 3 kittens who were due to go to their new homes and been let down, as the people due to collect them, had changed their minds at the last-minute. The first kittens I met were the ones that had been let down, the first one I picked up was ‘Sophie’ a smoked tortie who was a really lovely little kitten.

Gracie the day I took her home!

I went to go and see the other litter and sat in the box with seven sweet little kittens, they were all so cute. I went back to see the others due to go the following week and I just adored ‘Sophie’ and she was the one I adopted. Id already prepared and made sure I had a bed, toys, blankets, grooming tools and the best kitten food. I was so excited about collecting ‘Sophie’ the following weekend. However, a terrible thing happened during the week, our dog ‘Charlie’ deteriorated and became very ill, so ill that we knew it was his time when we took him to the vet. It was so upsetting to watch this fury character that had been part of our lives for nearly 14 years and we watched him go to sleep on the table in the vet. It was so sad that even the vet cried with us. We went back home and the hardest part was our other dog, ‘Oscar’ looking for ‘Charlie’ wondering where his best friend was. It was a tough week, I also came down with a really bad virus, which is not good when taking lithium.

I felt excited about going to collect ‘Sophie’ I changed her name to ‘Gracie but I was so unwell and grieving the loss of ‘Charlie’ however, we collected little fluffy ‘Gracie’ and travelled back home. She cried all the way home but then she settled and eventually left her carrier and explored my room. That night I was seriously ill from the combination of lithium and a virus, viruses, colds, flu etc. upset the balance of blood and basically lithium can become toxic in your body, which made me violently sick all night. I was so upset that ‘Gracie’s’ first night was going to be spent with me being sick. My mum sat with her whilst I was in the bathroom and the following sunday I was still sick but also very upset about being ill for ‘Gracie’s’ first weekend with us. Luckily this was the last time I would have lithium toxicity as I was coming off that drug to try a new one.

‘Gracie’ slept on my pillow every night, I felt so calm around her and adored her. I had to feed her, brush/comb her hair, make sure she had fresh water, take her to the vet to register her. She gave me a purpose and something to live for, she was funny, cute and mischievous. I loved spending time with her and she helped me take my mind off feeling ill. She watched films with me, sat on my lap and was just such great company. I began to feel happier because of having ‘Gracie’ in my life. My parents think that she helped me out of the severity of depression I was going through. As a result of this I realise now how much I adore ‘Gracie’ she helped me through dark times by giving me something to be responsible for. I think that is why I spoil her so much and I still let her sleep in my room because she is my BFF cat, I talk to her, sing to her and we chat. I looked after her after she was spayed and made sure everything healed well, I’ve taken her to the vet immediately if anything has been wrong, like when she got an allergy to the brand of cat food she was eating. I guess we are there for each other. Don’t get me wrong I adore ‘Oscar’ too, but he is my parent’s dog, so I don’t have to pay any vet bills or for his food etc. he’s my BFF dog.

I strongly believe that pets can be good therapy for people with mental illness, when I’ve been in a low mood and had to isolate myself, ‘Gracie’ has always been there with me. I spend a lot of time with ‘Gracie’ and It definitely helps me mentally spending time with her. Very often if I am feeling stressed, which I struggle to cope with as part of my condition, she has a very calming effect and I calm down and can rationalise.

The one thing I will say is that I don’t think people should buy/rescue pets without doing the full research first. I made sure that I would be able to look after a cat, including costs, such as food, vet bills etc. I love animals and no matter how black my mood may become, I am too compassionate towards animals to ever neglect them or abuse them.  I managed to take excellent care of ‘Gracie’ during bouts of severe depression, you have to ask yourself that, if you felt like this could you put the life of a living thing in your hands? If the answer is ‘no’ then a pet is not for you. It takes a lot of thought and planning to bring a pet into your life. If you are like me and know you could do this without any question then having a companion such as a cat or dog could help you through the ups and downs of being bipolar and you will bring joy and happiness to your companions life and they would to your life to.

Cute Gracie

Posted in Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Dogs, Health, Manic Depression, Mental Health Stigma, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized
Tags: Bipolar Depression, Cats, Dogs, Health, life, Lithium, Low Mood, MDF, Mental Illness, Motivation, Persian Cats, Pets, Pets as Therapy

Many of you who read this blog know I have battled with my most severe bipolar depression episode yet – for almost a year now, I have been treated at home by the Mental Health Recovery Team since November 2010, though I have been making a slow recovery. I think getting Gracie, my cat, definitely had a very positive impact on my health, she gave me a reason to get up in the morning and her life was put in my hands and I’ve done an excellent job making this her home. She’s a very happy cat, naughty too, might I add – her latest fad is lying in the bath tub on her back!

 The psychologist has been helping a lot, but she says I have to take baby steps otherwise I will set myself back. This last 11 months have been tough, especially the first 8 months and the extremely dark times before, over and after christmas. I will be honest and in January I didn’t honestly think I would be here now writing this blog. My medication has been changed about, I’v missed out on gigs, bouts, skating and developing into playing Roller Derby, spent a lot of time being unable to do anything other than feel drousey and exhausted, and also unable to drive.

 The latest medication seems to be suiting me more, apart from the odd episode of vomiting and feeling nauseas, it seems ok. The only downside is that they have to increase it as the body gets used to it. Luckily it doesn’t cause weight gain like lithium did, so I can get fit and lose some weight finally. I did used to exercise when I was on lithium but the fatigue took over and my blood sugar levels became so low when I exercised that I almost passed out on several occasions, even with a personal trainer supervising me. This was tough, going from attending the gym 4 times a week to no exercise due to exhaustion. I am now trying to get out for a walk everyday to slowly build my fitness up again, this will also help with skating, as being fit is vital for Roller Derby.

I was offered the chance to go and see Take That just after the tickets went on sale last year, by a very good friend. I of course accepted the offer. I’d got myself quite stressed about having to drive up to Chesterfield on my own, as when I have driven recently, my mum has sat in the car with me, to make sure I’m ok. I also started to get quite stressed in addition about videoing my cousin’s wedding, worrying something would go wrong, not being able to enjoy the wedding as much because technically I would be working.

 I set off for Chesterfield on Thursday afternoon and took it easy and did the journey in about one hour and 45 minutes. I arrived at my friend’s house and we chatted, went to get some things for dinner and then just chatted and watched Glee and the music channels. On Saturday we were ready for just before 11am to head off to Wembley Stadium, the last time I was at Wembley Stadium was before it was rebuilt in 1999 at the Toxic Twin’s Towers Ball Aerosmith concert! So we waited for two other friends to arrive and then we were collecting another on the way to London. So off we went to Take That on Friday 1^st July 2011. The weather was awesome, sunny and clear. We had some great tunes on in the car Lady Gaga, I love Lady Gaga, especially her latest album which is outstanding. Then we had some Nicole Scherzinger and Jessie J on.

 We stopped at a service about an hour from London for a toilet break and a drink then we continued out journey and arrived early afternoon at out pre-booked parking space. We all walked to the outside of Wembley and has something to eat, I had a hotdog with mustard – I put a bit too much mustard on and nearly blew my head off!! The other roped me into buying a hat to wear during the show, as they all had purchased one – so I agreed – even though I looked a total prat, as it just didn’t suit me all, but hey it’s a souvenir of an awesome day with awesome friends.

 We got in the mammoth queue for the unreserved standing and seating. We managed to battle out way to about 6^th row from the front, it was tight, but well worth it when we got to see Take That so close. The Pet Shop Boys came on for their set after 19:00pm, they were ok, I’m just personally not a big fan of theirs and never have been, though I love electro 80′s music. Some of their songs were ok, but I was just looking forward to see Take That.

 Not long after The Pet Shop Boys had finished their set, Take That began their performance. I was so excited. Gary, Jason, Howard and Mark appeared on main stage and performed track froms beautiful World and Circus. They moved to the runway on the stage which is where we were and we managed to get such close up views of the boys, it was brilliant and I manged to get some fab shots with my camera. After the 4 boys had done their bit as Take That as a four piece Robbie came and performed a number of his solo numbers, he was good, but I’m not a big fan of Robbie as a solo artist, but he’s a good entertainer. Robbie was then joined by the rest of the boys where they became the 5 piece Take That and performed numbers of the latest Album Progress and some old skool Take That which was very exciting. The stage production was visially fantastic, the dancer and the show just outstanding. I really enjoyed the overall show more than I expected to and I got too Jason Orange close up, which was also amazing!

Jason

The Set List

Take That (as a quartet)

• Greatest Day
• Hold Up a Light
• Patience
• Shine(contains excerpts from “Mr Blue Sky)”
• Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Video Interlude)

Robbie Williams

• Let Me Entertain You
• Rock DJ
• “Come Undone” (contains excerpts from Walk on the Wild Side and Greatest Day, sung by Williams)
• Feel
• Angels
• Shaolin Monks

Take That

• The Flood
• SOS
• Underground Machine
• Kidz
• Pretty Things
• Piano Medley: A Million Love Songs/Babe/Everything Changes
• Back for Good
• Pray
• Happy Now (instrumental)
• Love Love
• Never Forget
• Encore
• No Regrets
• Relight My Fire
• Eight Letters

The time just flew and before we knew it, it was time to go home . We managed to get out of Wembley pretty quickly, popped into a service station for a drink and snack then continued the trek home. We got caught up in traffic and as a result didn’t get back until 03:30am, which was very tiring! We listened to club hits from the 90′s on the radio and one of my friends and I discussed how you just would not want to be part of the Human Centipede. All in all a great road trip with lovely friends and an amazing performance by Take That, i’m so glad I went.

 On Saturday my friend and I went back to Bakewell, where we both used to work and also spend a lot of time socially in the pubs in Friday’s in our late teens and early 20′s. It was weird, nothing had changed, the people that had never left looked the same, the same people hung out together. I’m glad I haven’t been around there for about 7 years, the carnival was good, some people had put real effort in. I liked the people who had gone to the trouble to dress up as the Na’vi clan from Avatar. It was a bit too hot and there was, as usual, a lot of drunken people. I’m just so glad i’ve moved on from there to be honest. I had a much better time in Sheffield when I moved there with the rockers, glam rockers and goths, the people were friendly, accepting and interesting. I miss that part of my life in Sheffield, I used to meet so many interesting people and all in all have a good time. I went back to Lincolnshire after the carnival and had a steady drive back and when I got in went to bed, as I had to be ready for my cousin’s wedding on Sunday.

 I was very nervous on sunday about videoing the ceremony and so on, but it went ok, I think. I probably wasn’t as relaxed as other wedding guests but I was doing my cousin a favour and didn’t want to let her down. It was a nice day, nice to catch up with family, the weather was very nice, a bit too hot for me but I enjoyed the day despite the stress felt about videoing parts of the day.

 This is the first weekend in nearly a year that I have done anything socially, so i’m seeing this as a step forward to my recovery and rebuilding the confidence that has been so severely shattered. I know who my true friends are and I certainly don’t have that many in Lincolnshire, other than at Roller Derby, who have been very supportive and understanding the last 11 months unlike certain people in other areas of my life.

 I’m looking to the future and hoping for a brighter and stable future. It’s not going to be easy, but I’ve gone through some difficult times and I will hopefully have the tools to cope better should I experience further episodes of depression and mania in the future.  

Posted in Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Health, Mania, Manic Depression, Mental Health Stigma, Music, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, Roller Derby, Uncategorized
Tags: Aerosmith, Bakewell Carnival, Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, depression, Diet, Health, Jason Orange, life, Lithium, Low Mood, Mania, Manic Depression, MDF, Mind, Motivation, Pet Shop Boys, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, Robbie Williams, Roller Derby, Skating, Suicide, Take That

….since I last blogged! I have started my mew medication, Carbamazepine. It took me a while to decide whether to take it or not, as it has some pretty serious implications in the future. If I had planned on ever having a family one day, there is a high risk of a child being born with spina bifida. Though, I like kids and I am really good with them,  I don’t think I would ever have my own because of how ill I can become with my bipolarity.   I don’t think it would be fair on them if I had an episode, so I am quite contempt with keeping pets, like my lovely little cat Gracie and the family dog, Oscar.  They have a calming effect on me when I am feeling depressed.

The first week of taking the new drugs, I struggled as I have been so heavily dependent upon sedative based drugs to help me with sleeping, so I have hardly been getting any sleep at all. I think the first few days of taking it, I didn’t sleep for three nights in a row. I am only really getting about 4 hours of sleep each night, and last weekend I was very badly sick for about 3 hours. This was to be expected, as I was warned that this was one of the side effects that could occur for the first few weeks. Other than feeling sick, I haven’t been physically sick again. I just really need to work on the lack of sleep and anxiety have experienced.

My mood has been extreme and I went through a spell of singing and dancing to musical numbers and then even began to write my own musical about Gracie and wrote a few songs for it. I listened to the ‘Wicked’ musical soundtrack over and over and then my favourite musical ‘The Phantom of The Opera.’ I was going to paint my face green and sing along with ‘Defying Gravity’ and put it on YouTube and then I was convinced that Andrew Lloyd Webber would be envious of the musical that I would write and win awards for. I kind of knew in the back of my mind that this was manic behaviour but allowed myself to be consumed by the elation I was experiencing. The high’s make you feel so good, you don’t need drugs or alcohol to feel this good. Though I craved getting pissed on some of my favourite alcoholic beverages!  I also longed for the days of getting pissed at Corporation Rock nightclub and dancing like a maniac, playing air guitar and screaming the lyrics to my favourite songs played, whilst dancing with my friends. Standing in the Nelson pub before Corp have a few drinks listening to the classic rock blasting out from the speakers! Though’s days seem so long ago now.

The other sad and frustrating thing is that I am struggling to get to Roller Derby for feeling ill, lack of sleep, loss of confidence and anxiety about skating. When I first started going last year, I went every week, I drove to a bout in Leicester…….I was embracing this new exciting world I had found.  Now, I am finding this so hard, I am desperate to do this but its like there is a part of me missing that I cant’ switch back on. I feel like I am a bad team member, poor attendance, lack of involvement in the social side, just mainly because of how I am feeling and how this can change within days. It is incredibly frustrating but scares me too. I hope I can switch back on to this world and soon. This is making me feel quite depressed and down lately too.

Last night I watched Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive, this was a really good documentary on Bipolar Disorder and there were all different kinds of people with bipolar and experiences featured. I wish more people could see this programme and then they might understand what it is like to live life with bipolar disorder.  So many people have committed suicide or attempted suicide, it’s shocking. The cocktails of drugs people have to take to control it, out of character behaviour during mania, the list is endless. It really is a complex disease, but most people said they wouldn’t get rid of it if they could push a button but would like the option.

On a more cheerful note, I am very excited to say that I am going to see Matthew Morrison (Glee’s Mr Schu) in concert, I am really looking forward to that, as he is an excellent performer on the TV and I think his concert is going to be amazing!

Posted in Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Classic Rock, Depression, Health, Mania, Manic Depression, Mental Health Stigma, Music, Phantom of The Opera, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, Roller Derby, Uncategorized
Tags: Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Glee, Health, life, Low Mood, Mania, Manic Depression, Matthew Morrison, MDF, Motivation, Musicals, Phantom of The Opera, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, Skating, sleep, Stephen Fry, Suicide, Wicked The Musica

Today I had my 6 week medication review with the psychiatrist, she has had 6 weeks to go through my notes ready for today. So, I turn up early for my 9am appointment and it’s 9:15am by the time we get in, despite being the first patient, only to be told that my notes had not arrived in time for the appointment. So the community nurse gave the psychiatrist an update, towards the end of the appointment someone turned up with………the briefcase containing the notes. So, it appeared that she had forgotten to bring her briefcase to work!!! How professional……not!

I explained to her that quetiapene (Seroquel) is not working for me and after 4 months I see no improvement with the side effects and it’s not really keeping my mood steady. Over the next 2 weeks I have to gradually reduce the Seroquel and then I move back on to a mood stabilising drug, carbamazepine, which is meant to be a successful treatment of rapid cycling bipolar disorder for people who could not take lithium, which Is what happened to me – hence being prescribed seroquel! The only problem is, as with any new drug, that the first couple of weeks will be tough adjusting to a new drug again. I must have my blood levels tested and so on next week in preparation for the change over.

I have to say with regard to the severity of depression I experienced during this episode that I became stuck in last year and earlier this year, that this is gradually lifting, which is making it easier to identify the rapid mood swings. I am feeling far more optimistic about my future and that once I get the medication that suits me right, I can lead a normal life, which is the main objective really. Life has ups and downs and with the tools to deal with triggers, this illness can be controlled successfully – well I hope, but keeping positive will be a huge help, so I will see how it goes. Hopefully, this new drug will help and be the right one.

I had a really good Easter weekend, especially on Sunday when I saw my cousins, who are 13, 12 and 11, we had such a laugh. We were singing, telling jokes, I introduced them to my cat, Minch (Gracie) and we went for a walk with my sister and her two beagles. We had a nice family lunch and all in all was a fun and pleasant day! Bonzer! The weather has been nice all weekend too, so I got to sit outside Saturday afternoon.

The only disappointment is that it was the last episode of Police Academy UK on Sunday and this was actually a really good documentary. It was really good to hear their opinions on the behaviour of some of the british population and the way it is policed, especially with regard to football hooligans, which personally, I hate due to when I lived in Sheffield City centre, being too nervous to leave my flat when there was a match with a team that you just knew were going to be trouble! Residents should not have to feel like that because of football hooligans and plus this is tax payers money! Anyway I am disappointed that I won’t get to see Constable Luke Elsbury on our screens anymore, he was awesome and the best looking bloke that has ever appeared on tv, in fact that I have ever seen in my life, including real life! lol

Posted in Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Health, Mania, Manic Depression, Mental Health Stigma, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized
Tags: Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, depression, Football Hooligans, Health, life, Lithium, Luke Elsbury, Manic Depression, MDF, Mind, Motivation, Police, Police Academy UK, Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder, Seroquel